Perfect & Peppy Personification

It all started with a goose.

Actually, it didn’t but I thought that sounded good. I have been naming objects pretty much my entire life. I’m not counting stuffed animals, pretty sure you have to be a monster not to name them. I do think that stuffed animals, cartoons, and the like have been instrumental in making me the weird person who gives all her computers names.

So, let’s start there. When I was too poor to have a MacBook, I slummed it with an HP Windows computer. (Clearly I’m not campaigning for HP to sponsor me.) I’m sure it was fine, but it annoyed me. This particular model had widgets on the desktop that I thought were kind of neat. I set them up where I wanted them to go and it would switch them around to different places when I wasn’t looking. Like, why? I complained to the hubby (like we do) and he said I should call it Loki because he’s the trickster.

Thus begins the journey:

iPod nano: Thor
Super tiny iPod nano: Sweet Pea
MacBook Pro: Thor (started reusing this one)
iPhone 12: Blueberry
iPhone 17: Sakura
MacBook Air: Luna (Finally broke the cycle)
iPad Air: Violette
Mini Cooper: Basil

I think we can stop there. It’s starting to feel like I’m a personal supporter of Apple…because it’s true.

To the goose.

I started seeing some memes on the gram about “advice from a goose” and promptly fell in love with their sassy attitude. Then, as the gram is want to do, my algorithm started showing me porch geese. Love, but don’t have a porch (as my mom pointed out). You know what I do have - a classroom, and a desk.

So I bought a desk goose, with the broad idea of making clothes for it and entertaining my students (middle school) with her savior faire. I was not considering that I am not a proficient seamstress. The outfit I made for her looked like a crappy garbage bag.

By this point, I had invented a name for her - Dr. Poppy Honkington, PhD in Goose Studies. I felt like I had to do right by her - she’s a doctor for goodness sake! So I have commissioned an outfit for her from a wonderful lady on the gram. I’m also guilting my mother into making her some clothing.

This is all a part of my personal brand of whimsy, which I am convinced is one of my best traits. It certainly makes me happy, if no one else.

But, if you’ve stuck here this long, here’s a teaching tip for you. As I’ve said I teach middle school - 8th grade. It can be pretty trying. Those kids have mastered the art of cynicism - to a point.

Do you have a problem with kids leaving pencils, pens, and other classroom supplies on the ground? Refer to them by name as if it’s a freaking emergency.

“Class! Bob is on the floor! Quick, someone save Bob!”

You’d be surprised how fast those jaded teenagers will race to save poor Bob the pencil.

Anything I want to be taken care of and not abused gets a name. My purple tape dispenser? Petunia. My crappy stapler? Agnes, Eater of Packets.

I’m not going to lie, you have to sell it. If you don’t buy into it or at least show them you buy into it, it’s not going to work. Bonus: it helps with classroom management if they think you’re just a little unhinged.

There’s definitely more to the Dr. Poppy Honkington, PhD in Goose Studies story. But that is for a later day.